Leads: Part II

As a reporter, I found it difficult to write a story without first nailing my lead. It was as if I needed it in order to move ahead with the rest of the information. For me, the lead not only allowed me to get started, but it also revealed where I was going with the story and helped craft my ending (as I usually like to tie the end back to beginning).

In a similar sense, setting well-crafted goals, like writing well-crafted leads, is a necessary step a person must take in order to progress in his or her life, especially when trying to transition from one part of life to another. Currently, I am lost in transition. I have a broad sense of what I'd like to do and where I'd like to be in my life (healthier, thinner, richer, etc.), but no defined goals or specific plan to lead me there. Without setting goals, it will be impossible for me to move ahead.

I suppose this leads me to my first goal. I must figure out what I want in life in specific terms. Once I know that, I'll be able to move forward and take the steps I need to get there. 

- M

Leads: Part I

There is something about the process of arranging words together to craft an amazing sentence that totally excites me.

I just awoke from a dream where I was sitting in a university hall with a small group in attendance at some sort of journalism club meeting. Or at least it was a club meeting, and I was sitting with the journalists. We were in workshop mode, discussing one woman's article and helping her create the perfect lead. I was obsessed with getting it right, and even as I was awaking from the dream, I was toying with several options for the lead.

Writing leads was one of my favorite things to do as a features reporter. I always enjoyed coming up with just the right sentence or phase to grab the reader's attention or to simply capture the essence of the story. I found the process even more exciting because the perfect lead didn't always come to me while sitting at my desk in front of the computer. My mind was (and still is) constantly in motion, and words would magically piece themselves together while I was in the shower, shopping, or even driving - and I'd have to stop immediately and write them down.

For me, those moments were priceless. And I miss them.

- M

My Reflection

I don't look in the mirror often. This is probably one of the reasons why I haven't seen what's been happening to me, to my body, to my being.

sexy me (2004)

In my mind, I see myself they way I looked when I was in my early 20s - thin, attractive, moderately happy young woman on the road to success. But then, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or I'll try on an outfit that doesn't quite fit the way it should, and I'll realize what I've become - an overweight, still pretty-faced but not-so-happy 30 year old woman who is stuck in a rut. Even after having a face to face encounter with my reflection, my mind still lingers on the image of myself from about a decade ago.

"Reflections of/the way life used to be..."
I'd often think that I'd be happy if I just do the things I used to do, be the person I used to be. I even thought that if I changed my name back to my maiden name, I'd somehow transform into my former self. But the fact of the matter is, I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm a long way from home, and I've been through a lot. In the short time span of four years, I experienced marriage, motherhood, and divorce. I changed career paths and I am still trying to figure out where I'm going. And I've gained a tremendous amount of weight. I'm just in a different place right now.
I suppose it's kind of insane to think I could even go back to the old me. So, I am ready to move on. I think I am finally ready to let go of that old image and look at myself and who I really am today.

Fuzzy picture of me
(July 2011)

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror/I'm asking him to change his ways..."
My biggest concern right now is my health. I went to the doctor last month and weighed in at 167lbs. I'd mysteriously gained about 15 lbs over the summer, making me borderline obese (according to the chart in the doctor's office). I never thought I'd ever weight this much in my entire life. I was unhappy about my weight before adding on the extra padding, so now I'm downright depressed about how I look.
But weight is only part of it. Since turning 30 in March, my body just doesn't feel the same anymore. In a random, freak accident, I partially tore the ACL in my right knee, and walking hasn't been the same since then. My knees hurt, my legs hurt, and my feet hurt all the time. I am always tired, even after taking my narcolepsy medication. And I have chest pain and circulation problems, most likely due to calcification on my arteries and not flossing like I should (poor dental hygiene can lead to cardiovascular problems). My body is a mess and it is screaming for a makeover! But it's not going to do it on it's own. If I am going to make myself a better, healthier, thinner person, I have to take a look at myself and make a change!
I recently started reading the amazing book "Crazy Sexy Diet" by Kris Carr, a woman who was diagnosed with a rare cancer when she was 31. Kris decided to clean up her lifestyle - her eating and exercise habits and her state of mind - and now she's healthier than she's ever been and her cancer is in control. So far, this book has been an inspiration to me, as it has taught me how people should really be taking care of their bodies. (I'll definitely be blogging about this book in future posts.) It has inspired me to finally take the steps to make a change in my lifestyle and become a healthy version of me.

"Instead of looking to the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then." - Diana Ross

me in 20 years?
i sure hope so!

I came across this quote today, and these are definitely the words of inspiration I needed to get up and get moving. I've focused on the past too much, and I'm standing still in the present, so why not look forward to the future? In twenty years, I'd love to look like First Lady Obama, but that's quite ambitious for me to think about right now. Also, twenty years is a long time from now, and I'd like to focus on short-term, more achievable goals. So, in the meantime, I'll imagine what I want to look like in one year and chart the steps to achieving that goal. I also plan to do the same thing for my career, as I'm in a transition point right now. I've been at my job for 5 years now which seems like a good point to move up or move on. I love my company and my job, but at the same time, I feel as though I'm just treading water and not going anywhere. I need goals...I need to put myself ahead maybe 5 or 10 years, think about what type of position I want to have then, and set some goals toward landing that dream job.

So, looks like I'll have to start looking in the mirror more often, and maybe even into a few crystal balls. I hope you enjoy reading about my journey back to ALIVE.

By the way, welcome to my new blog! :)

- M