On Essence and Aging

I was reading the latest issue of Essence while riding BART on the way home from work today. I got to an article about skin care that totally tripped me up. The article was about recommended skin care techniques to be used by three age groups - 20s, 30s and 40s, and 50s and beyond.

My first instinct was to read the information on the 20s page. But then I told myself to get real and turned the page (slowly of course, so that anyone watching me or reading over my shoulder wouldn't think I was actually 30 or older)...only to be horrified to see that they had lumped 30s and 40s together! I switched back and forth between the pages, trying to conceal my real age and to make it look like I was simply comparing notes. I clearly had a dilemma - where does my skin fit in? I am only seven months into my 30th year, and I have beautiful skin (or so I'm always told). Plus, I'm just 30, not "in my 30s" - that's totally different! Surely an article for women in their 30s and 40s doesn't apply to me! Or does it?

Obviously, my dilemma is more than just skin deep because even the Letter from the Editor in this month's issue got to me. The letter was an encouraging message to women who are Young, Black, and Amazing...and in their twenties! As I read the editor's words of wisdom for the twentysomethings in her life, I could only wonder - do these things no longer apply to me because I'm no longer in my 20s? Even worse, does this mean that I am no longer considered young??? Does turning 30 mean you cross over the threshold from Young Woman to Woman?

After spending a good while processing my thoughts, I looked down and realized I had been stopped on the skin care article long enough for anyone to see that I belong to the 30s and 40s group. Just great, I thought to myself, as I quickly closed the magazine and put it back in my purse. Then it dawned on me. Most people think I am younger than I look. I often get asked the following questions: Are you in school? What school do you go to? What are you studying? What's your major? While I used to find these questions quite annoying, I wouldn't be opposed to hearing them once an a while. Maybe now I am at the age where I will start to appreciate looking younger.

So...the next time I am carded at a bar, instead giving the bartender my "Seriously? I've been old enough to drink for 10 years" look, you might actually hear me say "Thank You!"

- M

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Side Note: Not Your Mama's Essence
Essence has been making a grand attempt to attract younger readers...those twentysomething young women to whom the editor was speaking. While I applaud the magazine's efforts, I am actually kind of bummed. I had tried to read Essence when I was younger, and of course, I found it irrelevant. It was a magazine for my mom, not me. My plan, which I was excited about, was to start reading it again when I got older. Now that I am actually "old enough" to read the Essence of the past, the magazine going in a new, more youthful direction. Go figure!